Play Your Game: Stop Keeping Up with the LinkedIn Joneses

You’re scrolling LinkedIn during your lunch break. Another promotion announcement. Another impressive title. Another speaking gig at a prestigious conference.

You hit the like button. Type out a congratulatory comment. And mean it. You are truly happy for them.

But underneath that genuine happiness sits something else. A whisper that gets louder with each scroll: How did they get that role? What do they have that I don’t? Why am I still here while everyone else is racing ahead?

Welcome to the comparison trap. And you’re not alone in it.

The Race You Didn’t Sign Up For

In my last post, I talked about recognizing when it’s time to replant yourself, when your environment is holding you back. But sometimes, the thing holding you back isn’t your environment at all. It’s the invisible race you’ve been running without realizing you entered it.

The “Keeping Up with the LinkedIn Joneses” race. Where everyone else seems to be sprinting toward bigger titles, better roles, and more impressive accomplishments while you’re... what? Running in place? Falling behind?

Here’s what that race looked like for me: I had three kids in five years. Three maternity leaves. Three rounds of finding new childcare, adjusting to new rhythms, recalibrating everything about how work fit into my life. I was still growing professionally. New roles, more responsibility. But the pace was different. My colleagues were sprinting toward big executive titles while I was recalibrating what success even meant.

And then I made a decision that felt like career suicide at the time: I left the corporate workforce entirely to be home with my kids.

I wasn’t just running in place anymore. I had pulled myself out of the race completely.

Three kids in five years, countless birthday cakes. This is what "falling behind" looked like. And looking back, I wouldn't change a thing.

So yeah, I spent a lot of time looking at my former colleagues—the ones who’d started their careers around the same time I did—and watching their trajectories soar. Director. Senior Director. VP. Each announcement on LinkedIn felt like a reminder of where I “should” be and wasn’t.

I was absolutely playing the comparison game. And I was losing.

The Comparison Trap

“Comparison is the thief of joy.” You’ve heard it. I’ve heard it. We all nod in agreement and then immediately scroll LinkedIn and feel terrible about ourselves.

Because here’s the truth: as humans, comparison is natural. When there are visible markers of success—titles, promotions, awards—it’s hard not to measure yourself against them. It’s hard not to wonder if you’re behind, if you’re not progressing the way you “should,” if you’re missing something everyone else seems to have figured out.

I see this all the time with my coaching clients. That deep frustration of feeling stuck while watching others advance. The exhaustion of running hard and still feeling like you’re getting nowhere.

But what if you’re not behind? What if you’re just running the wrong race?

Redefining the Game

I recently read Mel Robbins’ book The Let Them Theory, and one section really stood out to me. She talks about comparison differently than I’d heard before. Instead of just saying “don’t compare yourself,” she reframes it.

Use comparison as a mirror first. When you see someone’s success and feel that pang of jealousy or frustration, pause. Ask yourself: What is this showing me about what I actually want? What’s holding me back from going after it?

Then, and this is the part I love, use it as fuel. Let their success inspire you. Let it show you what’s possible. But don’t let it eat away at you.

Because here’s what Robbins emphasizes: success isn’t a zero-sum game. There isn’t one finite pie we’re all competing for. Let them have their success. And let yourself define and chase yours.

That shift—from scarcity to abundance, from competition to inspiration—changes everything.

Playing Your Game

When I finally returned to the workforce after my career break, I had a choice. I could try to “catch up” to where I thought I should be, chasing titles and roles that looked good on paper. Or I could define what success actually meant for me.

I chose the latter. And it opened up a path I never would have seen if I’d been too busy trying to keep pace with everyone else.

Here’s what I learned about playing your own game:

Progress isn’t always upward. There are more ways to grow your career than climbing to the next title. Sometimes the best move is lateral. Sometimes it’s backward to go forward. Sometimes it’s completely sideways into something you never expected. Those twists and turns that feel like detours? They’re often opening up paths you couldn’t have imagined.

Slowing down can mean speeding up later. When I left the workforce, it felt like stopping. But that “pause” gave me clarity, skills, and perspective that accelerated everything that came after. Sometimes you have to slow down to go faster in the long run.

The impressive title might come with a cost you’re not willing to pay. That VP role might look amazing on LinkedIn. But does it require 60-hour weeks? Constant travel? Sacrificing something that’s non-negotiable for you? Someone else’s dream job might be your nightmare. And that’s okay.

LinkedIn shows the highlight reel, not the behind-the-scenes. Nobody posts about the rejections before the big win. The proposals that didn’t get funded. The promotions they didn’t get. The two steps forward, two steps back reality of most careers. You’re comparing your messy middle to someone else’s polished ending.

Your path doesn’t have to look like anyone else’s. Think of career paths like clothes. That dress might look stunning on someone else, but it doesn’t fit you. You could force yourself into it, twist and contort to make it work, but you’d never feel authentic. The same is true for careers. What works for someone else might not suit you at all.

What’s Your Game?

So here’s what I want you to ask yourself:

• What does success actually look like for you? Not your boss, not your college roommate who just made C-suite, not the person with the impressive title on LinkedIn. You.

  
  

• What impact do you want to make? What kind of work energizes you? What matters most when you look at the whole landscape of your life—not just your career?

  
  

• And here’s the harder question: What are you chasing because you actually want it, and what are you chasing because you think you should want it?

When you can answer those questions honestly, you stop running someone else’s race. You start carving your own path.

From feeling like I'd committed career suicide to leading conversations on this stage. Your path doesn't have to look like anyone else's.

Moving Forward

Play your game. Carve your own path. Define your own markers of success. Tune out the noise—or better yet, let other people’s wins inspire you instead of diminish you.

Your career path doesn’t have to follow anyone else’s timeline or trajectory. It just has to be yours.

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